After yesterday’s blog post on Cultivating Charisma, I asked my husband who the most charismatic person/people he’s ever met were. The answer; Daniel Day Lewis and Jack Nicholson. My husband was nominated for an Oscar in 2003 for his amazing short film “Inja” which took him on a global world tour of film festivals, winding up at the Oscars. During the lead up to the ceremony, he was at parties and lunches with a shit ton of famous people- but the two that stood out the most were Day Lewis and Nicholson.
The qualities that stood out in Daniel Day Lewis were; a striking look, a statuesque physique, grace and an undeniable presence. Steve says, “He wasn’t a celebrity. He stood apart from the crowd and you felt like you were in the presence of a great artist.”
Then Steve had lunch sitting next to Jack Nicholson. Jack made friends with everyone at the table, he was super upbeat and they talked about basketball. As he was leaving he told the nominees to enjoy every second of their journey, “because you might not get to come back.” He was friendly, warm and genuine and was grateful for the great ride life had given him.
But what about every day people who are charismatic? Think about the most charismatic person you know. They are not necessarily well known, but they have a quality about them that draws others to them in a positive way. Chances are, they are interested as well as interesting, they’re authentic, grateful and comfortable with who they are.
Charisma can also be switched on and off. It doesn’t have to be a 24 hour thing. I remember seeing a stage full of speakers, many of whom were charismatic on stage, but once outside at a book signing, down on the level of the audience, they just seemed like regular people again.
Can you think of a specific time in your life when you felt charismatic? This is probably what was going on for you-
1. You were in your element
2. You felt comfortable with the surroundings
3. You felt confident within yourself
4. Your body language was open
5. You were smiling
6. You were having fun
7. You were making genuine connections with people by listening to what they had to say
If you’ve had moments like that, then you’ve had charisma. It can be cultivated- but it’s when the other things are coming into alignment (such as confidence, body language, self worth etc) that it all comes together. Charisma, however, can’t be faked. It’s authentic. Of course charismatic people can be insane (like Hitler and Charles Manson), but for now, let’s focus on the good eggs.
So thinking about your charismatic experience, is there a way you could tap into that energy on a more frequent basis?
Lot’s of love,