Ten Ways To Not Throw Yourself Under the Bus

Hi Friends,

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of interviewing the delightful Michelle Buchanan. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Michelle and her work, she is a world renowned Numerologist and Hay House author of “The Numerology Guidance Book”and radio presenter on Hay House Radio of the upcoming show “Numerology Guidance.”

Michelle lives in New Zealand, but is well known internationally for her work, and she truly is one of those amazing people you just feel energised after listening to her talk. She is so grateful for all that she has in her life and her positive attitude is inspiring. One of the questions I asked her towards the end of the interview was “What advice would you give your younger self?”

The first response was “Don’t be so quick to throw yourself under the bus. Don’t be so worried about what other people think. Be your own best friend and don’t sweat the small stuff.” Don’t be so quick to throw  yourself under the bus. That statement is so strong and visceral, and got me thinking about how many of us do that to ourselves all the time, often without realising it. We blame ourselves before thinking things out clearly and rationally and often, treat ourselves not as our closest ally (the person, as Louise Hay says, “the closest relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.”), but as somebody we are angry with, speak harshly to, or sometimes do not like.

Would you throw your bestie under a bus, even on his/her worst day? Hell no! So here are ten tips how to not throw yourself under the bus and being as kind to yourself as you would your dearest ally.

1. Eat right- try for one day, or for one meal, even, to make yourself the most nourishing and beautifully presented plate Gordon Ramsay couldn’t swear at

2. Sleep Right- Lavender, camomile tea, and a bath with epsom salts- catch those zzz’s

3. Self Protect- As Terri Cole says “Take care of you”

4. Watch for energy vampires- Vampires are not just for True Blood and Buffy. They are all around. Look for who makes you feel energised and who leaves you feeling drained. Not everyone deserves a role in your life movie.

5. Guard Your self talk like a mother lion protecting her cubs- listen to your inner dialogue and if you catch yourself saying something nasty, swat it away like mama lion shooing away another fly. Don’t berate yourself, congratulate yourself, “I just caught one of those suckers!”

6. If you don’t want to do it, whatever “it ” is, don’t do it! – If something’s not working out for you or you don’t want to go somewhere, and if you imagine not having this obligation over your head and you feel lighter with it gone- strike it from your to do list. You shouldn’t have to dread anything in your life.

7. Go for a walk- walking solves every problem. Walk it out, run it out. 20 minutes can make all the difference

8. Don’t worry about what they think, might be thinking…might not be thinking…- we never know what anybody’s really thinking or what their reality is so don’t make up fiction. Stay true to you, confident and safe with in yourself, and let them run their own race.

9. As Michelle says, “Be your own best friend”- or as Hamlet said “To thine own self be true”… treat yourself like a queen/king for at least one hour every week. That could mean a hot stone massage, a new set of sheets, or reading an Agatha Raison novel next to a roaring fire…whatever it is you love to do on your own….do something special for yourself

10. Again, as Michelle says, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Worry, worry, worry. If you hear your mind ticking away with worries about things you can’t control, take a deep breath and start singing “Let it Go” from Frozen at the top of your lungs. If you haven’t seen Frozen; see it, it’s awesome.

Much love,

Claire xx

Choosing Happiness

Hi Friends,

I’ve Had the great honour, over the last few years to see talks by some of the greatest teachers of our times. I also make it a daily practice to listen to TED talks and Hay House Radio- I want to be educated and inspired, not overwhelmed and depressed by commercial television, consumerism and a manipulative media. The other day, when cleaning up a very messy kitchen, I listened to Oprah’s recent and wonderful interview with renowned Buddhist scholar Jack Cornfield and it blew my mind. While you’re doing mundane things you can be inspired by listening to great teachers. It rocks.

Anyway, I digress. Going through my mountain of notebooks, specifically quotes and notes I have scribbled down during lectures, I came across notes from a conference I attended in 2011, hosted by Hay House Australia. Some of the greatest were there, including Marianne Williamson, Robert Holden, the mother of positive thinking; Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra, Doreen Virtue and Denise Linn to name but a few. What a weekend! 

I believe Robert Holden and the work that he does to be of the highest relevance in the world today. During his 2011 talk in Sydney, he instantly connected with the audience with his humour, his wonderful energy and extraordinary delivery of life changing information. Dr Holden spoke of the importance of following your joy, saying, “Joy has the power to override the super ego”- he shared a powerful practice of saying in the morning, “Dear Joy, I’m all yours! What would you like me to do with my life today?”

He spoke of happiness as being a choice, and that the first hour of the day is when we make the choices that we do. Do we choose to, “Rise and shine, or rise and whine?” Robert asked the audience.

What sort of a day do we choose to have today? Dr. Holden said, on a scale of one to ten (ten being the happiest), choose how happy you want to be. Today, I’m going for a 9, usually, I realized, when going over my notes I average a 7. Dr. Holden said, “Our happiness is our gift to the world- we pick our numbers and go higher. If you’re feeling 3/10- love yourself there. We are not our self images, that’s just who we think we are. The most important things are peace, love and clarity.”

The importance of forgiveness is essential to your happiness, that and being in the present moment. The present moment is all we have; the past is over and the future hasn’t happened yet. So let’s try and be here fully in the here and now (no matter what the circumstances are) and think about who we need to forgive. Everybody’s dealing with something and every emotion you feel deserves your compassion- so let’s start with ourselves and listen to that emotion, instead of numbing, dismissing or ignoring it. Let’s rise above what we feel in this moment and choose to extend our happiness as far as it can go…even if it’s just a millimetre.

So if we ask ourselves the question each morning; how happy am I going to be today (?) and we feel depressed or anxious, giving ourselves a 1/10; our goal might be to try and “rise above”; and aiming for a 3. If we wake up feeling good at a 7, let’s rise above, and try and make it to a 9 or 10. How happy do you choose to be in this moment? In this day? In this life time? Today I woke up at a 7 and I’m now at a 9 and my goal is to keep it here… fingers crossed!

Much love and Happy Holidays xx