This week, my latest round of courses began in Creative Performance, here in Newcastle, NSW, Australia. I have come to realise what I’m facilitating here is not actually an Acting course, but rather a creative freedom technique, designed to uplift and inspire participants to connect to the highest level of their truth. The purpose of this work is to be fully immersive within the process, to detach from outcome and to realign to the true self, the higher self- the spiritual part of you that wants the best for you- that is both purely supported and supportive.
This week, I spoke about the ego- the inner critic, as Jennifer Grace calls it “The Itty Bitty Shitty Committee”, the negative voice in our heads, that is there perhaps to protect us, but is actually blocking us from our true creative potential. Our creativity is boundless- we are infinitely creative and we really haven’t got time to block ourselves with this “stuff”. Easier said than done.
After class this week I had a bit of an epiphany because I realised the exact moment that my ego/inner critic took over and the negative impact it had both on my personal life and in my Acting career. When I was young and simply was fully present and in the moment, fully committed to the words/the process, I was completely connected to the intention of the work. My greatest performances were at ages 15, 17, 19 and 21. After that I was hijacked by my inner critic- an energy that could not breathe, that was so terrified of losing, of being left behind, of not being seen, of being noticed- comparison, self doubt and high level anxiety.
My time training at The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland was both traumatic and miraculous. I was fully supported with my dream of attending one of the best Drama schools in the UK by receiving a full scholarship- a miracle- but guess what? When I got there, for several reasons- I felt like I didn’t deserve this reward. The self doubt was, in fact paralysing and traumatising- and was only lifted by working with highly skilled master teachers- such as Edward Argent, Adrian Howells and Nadine George- who all embodied the essence of what a great teacher/guide should be- is to teach, support and help you up the ladder on your journey of elevation. You should never be stifled, suffocated, abused, humiliated or destroyed by your elders- and instances like this is where we begin to believe what these negative voices are telling us.
So. In a nut shell- our inner critic needs to be left outside of the room as much as possible- we need to be supported in our creative process so that we can do what we are meant to do. Let us be elevated and expanded rather than stifled, suffocated and shut down. Be your greatest ally xx
Coaching sessions are available via Skype, workshops are run nationally and internationally by arrangement.